is here! Shop now, pay later in 4 easy installments ⓘR18 WARNING: Not Safe for the Milking Shed
💀 This story contains sass, chaos, farm girl feral energy, and jokes that may cause blushing, snorting, or immediate mug-purchasing.
Proceed with a dirty mind and a good sense of humour.
OUR STORY — The Feral Farm Girl Edition
🐄💀🔥
Coffee & Moo didn’t begin with a business plan or some gentle spiritual awakening. Nope. It was born out of:
☕ way too much caffeine (borderline medical concern)🐮 a cow obsession so strong it could legally be classified as a personality trait💥 feral creative chaos😈 and my completely natural ability to turn ANYTHING into a dirty joke
Picture this: I’m standing in the kitchen, hair in a messy bun, smelling faintly of coffee and rural air, when I look at my dairy farmer husband and say:
“Babe… I think I’m gonna start making mugs.”
He pauses. Leans on the bench like an exhausted cowboy. Gives me that iconic Dairy Farm Husband™ eye roll —the one reserved for stubborn cows, broken gates, and my ideas. And goes: “Do what makes you happy.”
And THAT was all I needed. One sentence. One eye roll. One green light to unleash Feral Farm Wife Era™ upon the world.
From Sweet Rural Wife to Mug-Making Feral Gremlin
🐮💥 Almost immediately:
the dining table disappeared under a herd of mug blanks
the hallway turned into a high-speed packaging lane
the spare room became a mug maternity ward
sublimation paper reproduced faster than rabbits in spring
and the cows outside became my emotional support animals AND my judges
My husband would walk in, squint at the chaos, and mutter,
“Holy heifer… what’s she up to now?”
Meanwhile I’m pressing mugs at 11pm like a caffeinated witch summoning dairy spirits.
He brings snacks.
He shakes his head.
He thinks I don’t notice him smiling at my designs (I do).
Every time I squealed,
“LOOK HOW CUTE THIS COW IS!”
he stopped what he was doing, came to look, and pretended he “didn’t care.”
Lies.
All lies.
The man is my biggest hype cow.
Then the R18 Mugs Happened… and Lord Have Mercy
😈🔥
Cute mugs?
Yes.
Cozy mugs?
Absolutely.
Cow mugs?
Non-negotiable.
And then…
the spicy ones.
The mugs that would:
💍 make your nana clutch her pearls
📄 make HR file paperwork on you
☕ make grown adults spit-take their morning brew
Suddenly, somehow, my husband became the R18 Mug Inspector™.
Officially?
He pretends he’s innocent.
Unofficially?
He appears the second I print something filthy — like a bull hearing a gate unlatch.
He’ll grin.
He’ll snort.
He’ll go:
“Babe… you’re cooked.”
But he LOVES it.
Deeply.
Secretly.
Ferally.
Our conversations became:
Me: “Is this too rude?”
Him: “For the general public? Probably. For us? Nah, mint.”
Life With a Dairy Farmer + Mug Goblin Wife
🌾🐄 This man has:
hauled boxes heavier than a freshly-calved cow
helped pack orders like an unpaid farmhand on probation
nodded politely at EVERY new design even though he KNOWS damn well I’m about to show him ten more
watched the house transform into a ceramic farmstead
witnessed peak chaos behaviour from his feral mug-making wife
rolled his eyes so many times I’m surprised they're still attached
AND still supported every unhinged idea I’ve ever had
That’s love.
Rural NZ love.
Cow-coded love.
Fast-Forward: Welcome to the Mugstead
🔥 Our home is now:
30% cows
30% mugs
30% caffeine
10% “babe, seriously, where’s the table?”
Coffee & Moo became more than a hobby.
It became a whole mug farm —
powered by:
☕ reckless caffeine consumption
🐄 cow energy
💥 chaos
🌾 rural NZ charm
😈 filthy humour
🔥 unhinged creativity
… and one very patient dairy farmer husband who saw this coming the moment he married me.
Every Mug Is:
hand-pressed by me
wrapped like a newborn calf
shipped with hope (and prayers to the courier gods)
blessed with cow energy
infused with 90% sass + 10% husband eye roll energy
These mugs have more personality than half the herd.
If You’re Inappropriate, Funny, or Just a Little Bit Filthy
😈 Welcome home. You’re one of us.
Coffee & Moo is for:
✨ the cute girls✨ the chaotic girls✨ the cow girls✨ and the “I absolutely should NOT laugh at this but I’m gonna” girls
This brand is built on:
caffeine, cows, chaos, sass, stories, and a dairy farmer husband who absolutely did not sign up for this…but is now WAY too emotionally invested to escape.
And honestly?
We wouldn't have it any other way.
Hope you enjoyed our story
MEET THE MAKER + HUSBAND
🐄(aka: The Chaos Duo Behind Coffee & Moo)
🐮 THE MAKER — Doreen (Chief Mug Goblin & Cow/Coffee Enthusiast)
Hi, I’m Doreen — your local feral farm girl turned mug-making menace.
I’m the one:
pressing mugs at 11pm like a caffeinated witch
talking to ceramic blanks like they’re livestock
turning wholesome cow art into absolute filth
obsessing over Highland cows like it’s a medical condition
squealing over designs like a farm girl chasing an escaped calf
I run Coffee & Moo with a mixture of caffeine, chaos, and questionable decision-making — all hand-pressed here in NZ, one mug tantrum at a time.
If a mug makes you blush, laugh, or snort coffee out your nose — chances are I made it in a feral creative spiral.
You’re welcome.
“I may look sweet and innocent… but trust me, that’s just the decoy.”
Smiles like an angel. Designs like a gremlin with no filter.”
🌾🐄 THE HUSBAND
The Dairy Farmer (The Backbone, The Eye Roller, The Legend)
And THIS is my husband (Rob) — the dairy farmer who didn’t sign up for this but is now in it for life.
His job includes:
hauling boxes heavier than a calving cow 🤣
offering silent support and loud eye rolls
saying “bloody couriers” on my behalf
pretending he doesn’t enjoy inspecting the R18 mugs
appearing instantly when I say “Does this look too rude?”
handing me snacks at 11pm like an overworked farmhand
trying (and failing) not to laugh at inappropriate cow puns
being the emotional support farmer every mug maker needs
He’s the calm to my chaos, the paddock to my pasture, the “Righto love, whatever milks your fancy” to every feral idea I’ve ever had.
Together?
We’re Coffee & Moo.
A little rural.
A lot chaotic.
And full of cow energy.
“Professional eye-roller. Unpaid box lifter. Married to chaos.”
“Don’t let her smile fool you… this woman is unhinged in the most adorable way.”