{"product_id":"congratulations-on-the-new-baby-rude-card","title":"Congratulations on the New Baby Rude Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"font-semibold\"\u003eSay goodbye to solid sleep, quiet evenings, and any remaining illusion of being in control of your own life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e This card delivers a brutally honest, highly hilarious congratulations to the new parents who are currently drowning in nappies, caffeine, and absolute exhaustion. It is the perfect antidote to those overly sweet, pastel-coloured baby cards that pretend parenthood is all soft lighting and quiet giggles. Let’s be real—they are about to embark on a beautiful but deeply chaotic journey of mysterious stains and midnight crying sessions, and they need a good laugh to survive it. Left blank inside for your own survival tips, this premium card is the ultimate realistic tribute to their new, slightly unhinged lifestyle. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeasurements: 14 x 14cm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: Card \u0026amp; Envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStay Feral.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Coffee and Moo","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53191106724129,"sku":null,"price":13.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0990\/2607\/5937\/files\/congratulations-on-the-ruined-vagina-card.png?v=1785991320","url":"https:\/\/www.coffeeandmoo.co.nz\/en-au\/products\/congratulations-on-the-new-baby-rude-card","provider":"Coffee and Moo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}